Blessing or Beast?


As a youngin’ I was considered a blessing.

Born at six months; I beat the odds.

Went on to battle a school district and I lost.

Dropped out at seventeen; went on to achieve the equivalency. Fuck every teacher that tried to hold me down; I strive to be successful, and I’ve got a drive like no other. Now that I’m grown bitches be envious as fuck.

I turn everything that I touch into golden opportunities. I guess I’m lucky, or maybe I’ve just got the right touch. Go ahead and pick your cliché, I’m all good either way.

(Chorus Blessing or beast? I do right by my fam, never forgetting how I grew up, cleaning houses and office buildings.

Where our minimum take home pay consisted of a twenty-five-dollar check. Now my mama answers to no one; rubber gloves officially hung up.

From flat broke to living in the nice part of town, ain’t it funny how karma comes back around?

Blessing or beast? I will never stop chasing after these dreams. This beast has set out to achieve, now I’m nearing twenty-seven and I’m still fresh. Bitches bow down to the best.

Pen to paper, is it possible to make a steady living writing? If so, here’s a bunch of lyrics and a few books. Ain’t it funny what imagination can translate into words? From the first word to book tours. It’s enough to make a sane person go bat shit. Barely surviving, living from check to check, transform into a fairy tale resolution. This sort of thing just doesn’t happen, and of course my natural instinct is to grab more, let the beast roar.)

I will never rest, even when I’m at the top of my game; I’m gassed up. I’m ready to fly. I don’t know where this road will lead… But I’m not quaking, embrace this brand-new life, I’m on another level high. Mixing in with high class peeps and old money, but I can’t allow this life style to affect me.

I can hear the beast rising up in my chest and I find myself thinking, how much ambition is too much? Do I really want all of this? Money and the fame, that makes for one bad lil monster. Arrogant ego deflate I don’t need all of this glamour. I tell myself, bitch be humble, remember who you are.

(Chorus Blessing or beast? I do right by my fam, never forgetting how I grew up, cleaning houses and office buildings.

Where our minimum take home pay consisted of a twenty-five-dollar check. Now my mama answers to no one; rubber gloves officially hung up.

From flat broke to living in the nice part of town, ain’t it funny how karma comes back around?

Blessing or beast? I will never stop chasing after these dreams. This beast has set out to achieve, now I’m nearing twenty-seven and I’m still fresh. Bitches bow down to the best.

Pen to paper, is it possible to make a steady living writing? If so, here’s a bunch of lyrics and a few books. Ain’t it funny what imagination can translate into words? From the first word to book tours. It’s enough to make a sane person go bat shit. Barely surviving, living from check to check, transform into a fairy tale resolution. This sort of thing just doesn’t happen, and of course my natural instinct is to grab more, let the beast roar.)

Desires and necessities, they’re a funny thing, and for me the line between can blur. Fuck these fancy things, the high life ain’t for me. Take back the Gucci, I’d rather just be ordinary, so I’ll draw my line in the sand.

Blessing or beast?

Are you ready?


Twenty-three and barely free.

Set down a path, that society, has brainwashed into her head.

Marriage, white picket fence, and 2.5 kids. Tell me, is this what you had planned?

Here we go, it’s the same old pitch.

The diamond ring is dazzling, and you’re positive that he is everything.

The man who will be there. So, sure that when you say yes, he’ll be yours forever,

Sacrificing. Through sickness and health, and through it all, his eyes remain on you.

Here we go, we go.

No, no.

You think you’re bound; for the fairytale ending, as you receive the key; that you’ve been told will make you happy.

Lady why can’t you see? Your stupidity is bothering me.

Here we go, we go.

No, no.

(Chorus Are you ready?

To tolerate, the noises; that get under your skin.

Are you prepared?

For the arguments, that lead to compromises; where no one wins.

Are you ready?

For broken promises, rescheduled dates, and all of that shit.

Tell me, is this what love truly is?)

If so, I think I’ll pass on the traditional route.

Don’t care if you think I’m weird. Your approval means less and less.

The lone wolf sounds better in retrospect.

Societal path break free, break free.

The ordinary, is not for me.

Lady why don’t you slow down? And, take it easy.

Why bite the bullet? When there’s more to life; than the white picket fence. I’m telling you, you’re still too fresh and far young.

Why not, try again; when you’re thirty-one.

A few years wiser, I promise you’ll have found the one.

Here we go, we go.

No, no.

(Chorus Are you ready?

To tolerate, the noises that get under your skin.

Are you prepared?

For the arguments, that lead to compromises; where no one wins.

Are you ready?

For broken promises, rescheduled dates, and all of that shit.

Tell me, is this what love truly is?)

Here we go, we go.

No, no.

No thanks, I think I’m all set.

Relapse


I’m in a cold sweat.

Missing your love, girl, I use to have no regrets.

Now I fall asleep, all alone in this queen-sized bed.

Going to bed never use to be something that I would dread.

But now I’m shakin’ drippin’ wet, in a cold sweat.

Searching for a temporary hit, but your body’s far too beautiful, not to miss.

Gotta get a fix, kiss, forshiz the taste of your lips, has got me caught up in a reminisce.

Quick gotta locate the off switch.

Logic is trying to override the cardiovascular system, but that beating muscle in my chest, cannot deny what it wants. So it overthrows what my logic already knows.

Lord knows I’ve tried to quit it and forget ya, but this love’s far too good, far too fanatically, amazing, that you’ve got me hooked.

Please allow me, one more night, one more time, where I’m all yours and you’re all mine. Then I swear that I’ll be fine.

Lord I miss those curves girl.

Tracing em always use to feel, oh so good girl.

Curling up with you all night.

Feelin’ that sweet spot every night, we’d be all night.

Lickin’ till my tongue numb.

Loving till the sun up.

I erupt, when you erupt.

So in tune, so in sync, when we make love.

Never in my life have I had such an adrenaline rush.

Endorphins equal true love.

Okay I admit it I’m addicted, flyin’ high, floating on cloud 9.

Wishing that I could go back to the days when you were all mine.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this one last night. This one last time shit, just ain’t gonna do. Now I don’t know what I’mma do, I’m relapsing; and now I’ve got to face reality. Deal with the fact that I lost you.

I’m having a relapse with you.

Going down, just thinking about you.

Hands are shakin’ and I’m, drippin’ wet in a cold sweat.

I never use to live in regret.

Now I’m running on fumes, and dammit I just want a fix, I need my hit.

Tie a band round my arm, pick a vein, hook me up, give me something to remember your touch.

Oh lord girl, I miss your touch. I never thought a break up could be so rough.

Damn girl I want your love.

Ooh, Ooh, Ooh.

I’m in a…

Cold sweat, drippin’ wet.

(Relapse.)

I’m having a.

(Relapse.)

Working Class Stiff


26 and blessed beyond my wildest dreams.

For almost a year, I’ve been living a circumstance that seems unrealistically fictitious.

From the house to the pre-owned above ground pool, I feel like I am constantly waking to a daydream.

As if at any given moment I’ll find myself, along with my family shoved back into reality.

Living back on McKinley; draggin’ home a fully loaded grocery cart from Target, legitimately starving, just trying to make it.

I think that I can vibe with Rowling’s skepticisms, for this new life, this new reality, I just cannot bring myself to accept it.

How’d I get here?

I know the answer’s logically sound, that every T’s been crossed, and every I dotted.

Still I can’t seem to shake this dreamy sensation, and I’m not even on any sort of medication.

(Chorus working class stiff, working class fam.

Where we never do things according to plan.

My mama never did live the life of a soccer mom, sporting the classic minivan.

Instead she played both of the roles as my mom and dad.

I remember her continuously teaching me how to work hard.

Each of us scrubbing toilets, making 25 dollars in two hours.

Putting a week’s pay toward the necessities.

We might have been flat broke, and could barely breathe, but at least we earned our keep.)

You on the other hand, have grown up with certain expectations, use to a certain level of comfort.

Creatures of habit, but let’s face it you’ve never once had it like we’ve had it.

You never once had to push, flush, rush, be constantly continuous, cause you’re not us.

Living on the wrong side of the tracks, dealing with those fucked up wacks. Never quite on track, putting up an act, without a single brain cell left intact.

I always felt kinda bad, even though their addictions were bad they’re still apart of the human race, yet Richie Rich bastards like yourselves, wouldn’t even care to remember their face.

Your heart’s are cold and twisted like a maze.

Unfortunate as it is, this is something that we can’t escape,

I hate the fact that you think, this is a part of my blood that I must – should embrace.

Honestly I hate to be the one to break it to ya, but all of your attempts are a waste.

I’m not high class, I’m working class all the way.

(Chorus working class stiff, working class fam.

Where we never do things according to plan.

My mama never did live the life of a soccer mom, sporting the classic minivan.

Instead she played both of the roles as my mom and dad.

I remember her continuously teaching me how to work hard.

Each of us scrubbing toilets, making 25 dollars in two hours.

Putting a week’s pay toward the necessities.

We might have been flat broke, and could barely breathe, but at least we earned our keep.)

What’s a matter Brown clan, afraid your cash won’t win my allegiance?

That my love for my working class blood, out ranks the family name?

What, can’t think of anything witty or intellectual to retort?

I gotta tell ya right now, living your way, your lifestyle would be my last resort.

So go ahead, play it safe, play your game, and we’ll all go our separate ways.

I’ll take my place as the little baa, baa, black sheep, with the high class fam, and stick forever close to my working class fam.

Because at least with them I know where I stand, forever a working class woman.

Draw the curtains


Tonight love is going to be on its heights, cause baby you just gave me the green light.

Now I want to do this up right, girl you’re the love of my life.

I know exactly what you like, so hit the lights while I light the flames on these candles, your favorite scent is vanilla right?

Girl I’m just playing, you know me forever the class clown, as well as a hopeless romantic.

Yeah I fit the definition of the perfect cliché.

I’m straight up all the way, but hey that’s all right cause you know that I’m well worth all them clichés and more.

As I sprinkle down rose peddles on my queen bed.

Girl you’re the perfect dream, I must confess I’ve always looked at you and saw nothing but the best.

Fantasy coming true, when you step into the room, your birthday suit, baby oh my lord, how that skin glows.

So soft and so smooth in the candlelight you’re magnificent.

For a moment I stop to ponder how I ever found a woman so beautiful. Babe you’re oh so fine, then you kiss my lips, and here we go.

(Chorus draw the curtains.

Where we venture, it’ll be only ours to know.

Umpire you call out whichever position and I’ll be, ready and raring, barely breathing, but your moisture’s worth every second.

Girl when I can do this again?

Oh wait that’s right we can go all night. No need to press reset, we’re just endless love.

Of which I’ve got no regrets. )

Tonight is the best.

Oh.

Slow things down, we go slow and I’ll build you right back up, and by then we’re going hard once again.

Loving big, don’t you know, I make it a necessity to have you screaming my name.

Just as loud as your vocal cords can go.

Oh babe I love you so, I wouldn’t ask for anything more, just you and I, in this bed all alone.

(Chorus draw the curtains.

Where we venture, it’ll be only ours to know.

Umpire you call out whichever position and I’ll be ready and raring, barely breathing, but your moisture’s worth every second.

Girl when I can do this again?

Oh wait that’s right we can go all night. No need to press reset, we’re just endless love.

Of which I’ve got no regrets. )

Let this passion forever stay alive as we fall asleep in each other’s arms, wrapping up a night so amazing, it’s like I’ve been dreaming.

Oh

Last night I won’t soon forget.

Unapologetically


Six years have gone by.

(Gone by,)

All that time I’ve never heard a thing from you.

The last time I saw you still vividly burns in my heart and mind, so why the hell should I believe a single word that you say? Now that you’ve come back around.

You tell me that you’re sorry, you didn’t treat me right, but in my heart none of this feels right.

It’s not that I expected for you to get down on your knees and tell me that you were wrong; you didn’t mean to up and leave.

It’s that I hoped that you would finally understand the pain that you caused me back then.

(I never thought I’d be burned by you.)

I can’t say I would have done the same, you meant too much to me.

Then to watch you leave and just walk away, was the worst kind of heartbreak.

(Chorus which is why I’ve got to turn away from you;

It might seem to you that it’s just unapologetically crude.

It’s just so down right rude, but getting over you has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

No I can’t go on loving you.)

At this point I just want to push you away.

What if I just left you behind?  Never looking back to say goodbye, tell me would the message finally sink in?

I’d bet you’d want start over and try again; oh could you successfully pull me back into this whirlwind?

You were my first love, but I know that going back would never be considered a win; we’d just end up in chaos once again.

(Chorus which is why I’ve got to turn away from you;

It might seem to you that it’s just unapologetically crude.

It’s just so down right rude, but getting over you has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

No I can’t go on loving you.)

I need to be unapologetically over you.