The latest


I’m so happy tonight as I write this post, why you might be wondering? Because for the first time in  – I  want to say thirteen years I actually own a laptop that is up to date, and not nearing the brink of obsolescence.

Until this afternoon I had previously owned an Acer which operated on a vista, that I had brought from my local Walmart store. It lasted six years, which is pretty good considering when I bought it I only paid around 250 for it.

This time however after nearing losing a piece of J Mac writing last night, I decided that it was time to upgrade to a better model, so I decided to try looking at Staples. When I think back on my purchase at Walmart, it makes me want to build a time machine so that I could go and kick my nineteen year-old self in the ass. Not only did I buy the latest in Windows, but I received a good protection plan by the store, as well as anti-virus software that makes my former anti-virus look like the worst computer protection on the planet. (As a matter of fact, it more than likely was.)

You learn a new lesson everyday and my lesson for today and on is never cheap out when it comes to your computer. In a case like this it’s better to shell out some extra cash, if you you have it available to you, and invest in a piece of technology that will last for a longer period of time.

I’m so excited, I can actually write on this little laptop in the dark, which I am currently testing out as I write this post.

Happy dance no more computer freezing, or multiple restarting. 🙂

The ideas and words as they flow


I am so pleased as I dig myself further down into Chapter three of Jenny Mac. Though I can’t tell or show you the specifics of the chapter I will say that it’s getting to be very exciting/interesting for Jenny as she begins to better understand the powers that she has inherited.

It’s amazing the rush that you feel when these ideas come to you and for myself lately- actually scratch that. Since the prologue popped into my head I’ve taken notice of how organically these ideas have come. It’s interesting to realize the ideas that you’re capable of having when you don’t force them. I feel like that very well may have been one of my biggest problems that I had, the last time that I’d worked on Jenny Mac, I forced a lot ideas onto the paper without considering whether or the ideas could realistically work in the story.

Which makes me think of just how much I’ve learned in the past couple of years, and how much that I still have to learn. But that’s the life of a writer the words never stop flowing, the ideas never stop coming, and we never stop learning.

Astounding


Tonight I made the mistake of being bored out of my mind, and this lead me to YouTube, which then lead to watching author interviews. After watching one I decided to go upstairs into my office, pull out the old laptop, and look at Dreamer; my 43,000 something of a half written novel that I haven’t touched in 8 months. I read as far as the first paragraph and then closed the document. The first paragraph was so dreadful that I think it may have actually frightened me.

I worked on that book for a good year, I want to say and when I looked back on it today, AHH! I’m pretty sure that, that particular book is one that you sometimes just end up tossing aside and giving up on, either because you come to realize that the story isn’t going anywhere, or you just simply hate it after a while. I’m not exactly sure how I feel about this book, nor can I fully remember what made me stop working on it. The one thing that I do know for certain is that the idea for the book came at a very awkward time in my life. My grandmother had just passed, there was loads of family drama BS going on, and at that time the very idea of starting over with Jenny Mac seemed next to impossible. Basically that story came at a very low point in my life, not the lowest, but low. If I had read further than the first paragraph I’m sure that would have shown clearly through the writing.

I find it so amazing sometimes what you can find yourself writing at low points of your life, and let me tell you it is just as if not more astounding where you find yourself as a writer when things are actually going – well I don’t want to say that they’re going fabulous, or even well because I feel like it may very well jinx me, but things are okay. I mean it’s the Holiday season and this year I have so much that I’m thankful for and so much in my life that have come around full circle, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything like this. For me it’s usually crappy, shit, shitty, and shittier there was never really any stability. Now I have a house, food in the fridge, and this Jenny Mac book that I know is going to be amazing, because the ideas that are coming to me are so amazing. It’s amazing how life can surprise you in such a positive way, that you still wake up every morning and think, is this all real?

And it’s amazing how much one terrible book experience can make you think and ramble on for 463 words. I feel like I’m going to be doing this and feeling these sort of emotions a lot as I go along and look back on how my life used to be, it’s just so crazy.

The wall


I find myself sitting at my computer desk wanting very much to continue on with the first draft of Jenny Mac, because I can see it’s potential. Which I have seen before but it hadn’t really had the chance to live up to it’s full potential in the past, if that makes a lick of sense.

All I know for sure is that when it comes to the writing process with this book I am relying on a few things.

1 Instincts

2 Learning more about the craft

3 Books

4 Realism

and finally… 5 Perseverance

So far all of the above has been helpful for me and will undoubtedly continue to help me grow as a writer. However as I write this post tonight I confess that I have hit a wall. I don’t want to say that I have writer’s block because I believe that it just makes matters worse when you’re trying to write. So I’ve hit a wall, and I’ve been stuck on it for about a week now.

Last week I’d finished off what I guess will wind up being a chapter, and though I am aware of how strangely that must indeed sound, I’m going at this project with the utmost of caution, for fear that I might lose my nerve, or that I might do all of this work only to realize at some point down the line that this entire story idea will not work. So yes I am walking on egg shells, and yes I am babying this book, but it is my baby and isn’t that my right as the author? Until it’s sent out into the publishing world, then it’s no longer my baby.

The point that I’ve been meaning to reach is that I have been at this wall with no idea how to get around it, perhaps I am being too cautious, and maybe I need to stop worrying about what’ll happen if I come to realize that this story idea won’t work. I know that I should just grit my teeth and go, and whatever happens, happens. Or maybe just venting my frustrations will do the trick and open up my mind enough so that I can move forward with the story. Either way at least I can say that I wrote something today.

Damn I can’t stand being stuck at the wall.

Energy


For almost the past two years writing has seemed foreign to me, even though I haven’t stopped. It’s not as if the craft and the art of writing had become this mysterious exercise, (of which I had no idea what to do with) or that the words themselves had transformed into an unknown language which I could not decipher. No it felt more-alike I had lost my passion, that spark, that enthusiasm, that lust to create and mold a story together. I’m sure that this doesn’t come as much of a shock to you; because you’ve probably noticed it in my writing itself; for me it felt like a blurrish blab of crap. Now don’t get me wrong there were probably some interesting ideas floating around it those pieces of writing, but I felt no connection to the pieces. Perhaps that’s why writing had become so foreign to me.

I know this is somewhat of a sin for a writer to say and follow through with this action, but I think that I would like to keep all of my writing energy on writing Jenny Mac. I know that I am only just beginning to let these ideas flow again, but there is this certain electrifying energy that I feel when I’m writing down ideas for Jenny Mac, and that feeling has undeniably gone beyond my writing. I feel as if I am being pulled from this sort of dark depressive time period in my life and all of these positive things have been happening ever since. I can say with utmost certainty that I’m in a better place than I was two years ago, hell I’m in a better place than I was five years ago when I moved out to Mass. I feel that now is the time to be a writer, now is the time to let the ideas flow freely, now is the time to write in almost an obsessive manner. I feel it in every fiber of my being that this is my time.

Not to sound all about myself, but I’ve never felt this kind of unstoppable energy before and I don’t know how else to describe other than incredible!

Quarter of a century old!


Yesterday I celebrated my 25th Birthday and it still seems odd to think. I feel like I blinked and went from fifteen to twenty-five instantly, but I’d rather not get caught up in the fact that I am officially a quarter of century old. I would much rather talk about the wonderful things that have, are in the process of, and will soon be happening for myself as well as my family.

The first is that I’ve successfully dyed my hair with a homemade dye using baking soda, peroxide, shampoo, and conditioner.

IMG_0848

Kind of a silly thing, but it actually turned out well.

2. The reason why I haven’t been around WordPress too often this summer, and it’s also something that I am quite proud of/excited about… I am purchasing my first house, so I shall be very busy for the next two months.

3. I’m going to be fixing up my house, and I’m so excited that I will be working with my hands so that I can make this house into my own.

4. The house comes with an above ground pool; which will be nice to chill out in after a long day.

5. I’ am so happy that I’m going to be sharing this triplex with close friends and family.

You know sometimes I feel that I can sort of judge how this next year is going to go, based on the kind of experience that my Birthday brings, and for the past several they haven’t been the best, but this year feels like there’s a good, positive change in the air. So based on my Birthday and everything that’s happening I think I’m going to have a wonderful year.

So I guess 25 and up might just be my time to shine.

The pen versus the keyboard


Ordinarily I am a firm believer/user of the good-old keyboard, and why not its efficient, easy to use, and can take you from a word count of 0 to 500 like that. However lately my appreciation for the mighty keyboard has shifted; by way of the Sharpie pen.

When it come to jotting down notes for a story I usually pull up the word doc; however since I began fiddling around with some ideas with my Jenny Mac book series, I decided the safer and far more logical route would be to write in a notebook, so that I would have everything revolving around the book series written down and stored in my filing cabinet. (I’m always paranoid that something may happen with my computer, and if that were to happen I’d lose all of my notes/progress, and then I would be completely SOL.) So that was part my safer bit that I was talking about, but the logical bit?

What’s making me come around with writing the old-fashioned way, is that when I’m writing with a pen and paper I feel that I am less likely to make errors when I’m writing; because I have watch what I’m jotting down. Yes I realize that you have to do the same thing with the keyboard; but when all you have to worry about is pressing keys then you’re bound to make more mistakes.

Yes writing the old-fashioned way takes longer and you might not get to 500 words as quickly as you would, using your computer, and you may even get writer’s cramp; but at least your mind isn’t running at a mile a minute, and your fingers pretty much have to fly when typing on the keyboard to keep up with your thought process.

If you really stop to think about it writing with a pen and paper is sort of like doing meditation with your writing; you slow down, you breathe, you think rationally, and you feel more relaxed and accomplished than you did going into it.

So the next time you go to write; be it a note, an idea, a paragraph, or a page; perhaps you might stop and pull out the old pen and paper to write down what you want to say. Or perhaps you’ll favor the advanced forms of writing technology, either form, you’re allowing your creativity to flow.