Remember that story that I didn’t have a title for? Well I still haven’t come up with a title for it, but I have been sketching out the story itself. What do you make of this revised draft bit?
Her eyes detected and then locked onto Mitch and Dustin as they entered the park. When they caught sight of herself and Crystal, smirks spread out on their faces. Oh for crying out loud what the hell are they up to? “Ever feel like you’re different from other people?” Roxy’s eyes drew back over to Crystal. “Um, what?” Crystal looked up at Roxy for an instant, and in that moment her the coloring in her cheeks had heightened to a bright red, and her eyes conveyed a look of utter nervousness. They looked up then down, and back up again. They reminded her of two basketballs being dribbled. “Nothing,” Crystal’s voice choked on the word, as if something had been lodged in her throat. “Just forget that I mentioned anything.” Roxy didn’t take the bait. For now, whatever was bothering Crystal could wait. She looked back over at the park’s main entrance, and as she did so she caught a glimpse of Alexandra, who was making her forth lap around. By the time her eyes came to rest on the entrance there was nothing to see, Mitch and Dustin has disappeared. Perhaps they really weren’t up to anything. You moron! Her mind seemed to scream back. They smirked at you, didn’t they? Okay, so maybe they were up to something, but whatever that is, can’t be found out because they’ve disappeared. I’m certainly not stupid enough to attempt to find out what that is; Although Roxy suddenly felt a strong desire to walk around the park’s vicinity, but she fought the urge. Now I’m just being paranoid. “Sorry what were you trying to tell me Crystal?” Crystal sighed sounding irritable. “I was asking you whether or not you sometimes feel –” Something was being sprinkled onto them like rain droplets. “What the?” But then Roxy understood, these weren’t droplets of rain, they were droplets of gravel and –
Roxy leaped from the swing set, landing safely in the grass, she took off in a sprint for the alleyway. “Run!” She shouted to Crystal. She was halfway down the alley when she heard a blood curdling scream. She stopped, looked behind her, she saw nothing, heard nothing else. She took off in sprint once more. When she reached the other end of the fence alleyway, a blue pickup passed her on the street, and she felt safe, she felt triumphant. No way were Mitch and Dustin going to mess with her today. Another scream reached her ears, but this scream had been a command. “Stop!” The familiar voice ordered. “She’s hurt.” Roxy changed her course and made her way back down the alleyway. She sprinted out into the park, stopped, and looked over at the swing set.
Crystal lie on the ground with Alexandra crouched over her. “What happened?” Roxy asked, as she began to look Crystal over. Then she saw the blood.
Blood gushed for a wound just above Crystal’s right eyebrow. Seeing this sight, Roxy removed her long sleeve, her forearms now exposed to the chilly autumn air broke out in gooseflesh. Her body screamed for the warmth of the long sleeve, but Roxy ignored and pressed forward. She ripped off one of the sleeves and folded it until it resembled that of a thick piece of cloth. She pressed it to Crystal’s gushing wound and Crystal winced with pain. “I’m sorry.” Roxy looked at Crystal’s pupils and – Were they getting larger, or am I just imagining that they were? “Crystal how does your head feel?” At this Crystal looked at her, as if she’d been a little on the slow side. “Sore,” she answered in slow, clear, clarity. Roxy looked at her eyes again, examining her pupils more thoroughly than before. This time there was no mistaking it they were larger. “Crystal.” She noticed Crystal’s eyelids drooping in an exhausted manner. Roxy slapped her cheek. “Ouch, bitch, what’d you do that for?” “You need to stay awake, because it looks like you might be getting a concussion.” “Okay.” Her eyelids began to droop again, and this time Roxy and Alexandra pulled her to her feet. “Come on Crystal, we need to find somebody, who can take you to the hospital.” “Is anybody home at your house?” Alexandra asked. Crystal, winced in pain as they began to walk, Both Roxy and Alexandra tightened their grip on her. “I think my sister should be.” They walked her as quickly as she would allow down the alleyway, and by the time they crossed the street only a little over a minute had passed, but to Roxy the entirety of their journey to Crystal’s seemed like it had taken them ten minutes. As they were walking down the alleyway what ran through her mind was… Oh man, oh lord, Crystal please don’t pass out, please! When they walked onto the lawn of Crystal’s house her older sister had just opened the front door twirling a set of car keys in her hand, singing the lyrics. “Tell me what’s wrong with society, when everywhere I look I see. Rich guys driving big SUV’s, while kids are starving in the-” She cut the lyrics off when she’d caught sight of Crystal. She went sprawling down the front steps, catching her footing on the last one, she walked over to them without incident. Thank God, another head injury we don’t need. “Crystal needs to go to the hospital, aside for the head wound, Roxy carefully removed the long sleeve cloth. Crystal’s sister let loose a horrified gasp. “I think she might also be getting a concussion,” Roxy said, as she carefully placed the cloth back over the wound. Her sister looked at her eyes and inched closer to her face, examining. Looks like I’m not the only one who was unsure of the assumption. “Shit!” her sister exclaimed. “Get her into my car.” A moment later Roxy and Alexandra watched as Crystal’s sister sped off down the street. When they were out of sight Roxy looked down at her hand, in was covered in red and a coppery brown at the edges, where the blood had started to dry. Poor Crystal, God I hope she’ll be all right.