(The stage lights brighten and the Jazz band, to the far left of the stage begin to play a bit of smooth jazz, as Jerry Nicks enters the stage, and steps onto his mark, with the spotlight shining on him.)
I watch from the monitor backstage, sweating nervously, awaiting to go on.
He grins widely, showing off his bucktoothed smile, waving to the audience.
Jerry: Hello and thank you very much for that very warm welcome. I’d like to send it all right back to you so.
(A crewman wheels a rack of winter coats over to Jerry. Jerry pulls a coat from the rack; grinning his bucktoothed smile once more.)
Jerry: Here’s a warm gift from me to you; Columbus finest winter coat.
(A round of laugher spreads through the audience like wildfire.)
Jerry: We have a great show for you tonight; we’ll begin with an interview from a new writer with a very interesting voice, Chelsea Brown.
(The audience applauds.)
Jerry: No seriously this woman’s voice sounds like that of a teenage girl, and she’s twenty-five. There must be something in the water in Massachusetts that I need to start drinking, get back to that twenty-something voice I use to have.
(The audience laughs, and applauds.)
Jerry: But seriously, she’s young, she looks a lot younger than twenty-five, but she does have a unique voice for a new writer, and I’d like you all to welcome Ms Brown. Chelsea.
I walk out from backstage, hearing a nice round of applause; as I greet Mr Jerry Nicks.
Jerry: It’s great to have you here; doesn’t she look good for twenty-five folks?
I hear screams and whistles as Jerry and I take our seats.
Jerry: So you’re the first writer that we’ve had on the show.
I smile and nod.
Jerry: You seemed to have gotten a pretty good response from the audience.
Me: Yeah I was surprised; you’d expect that more from a movie star, or pop star, than a writer.
Jerry: Well your book is being well received.
Me: It is.
Jerry: Did that sock you at all or did you know, sort like having a sixth sense?
I shift around in the chair.
Me: No, not at all. As a writer you have to expect rejection, while at the same time believing in the story that you’re writing. You basically live on hope.
Jerry: So did you hope for this amount of success?
Me: I don’t think that any writer out there would or even does. You hope to make a living at what you do, and if you do one day see your book on store bookshelves, you consider yourself very lucky.
Jerry: Well you’ve certainly been lucky, and have managed to stay very humble. I like to see that in a guest.
Me: Thank you.
Jerry: Are you working on anything now?
Me: I’m working with a few different ideas, but nothing solid as of yet.
Jerry: I’ve heard that you treat writing like an actual nine to five job, is that true or a rumor?
Me: It’s true, I find that I am more disciplined if I can sit myself down Monday through Friday and write for several hours.
Jerry: That’s interesting, how much writing would you say that you get done, usually?
Me: If I can write at least one thousand to two thousand words a day, I’d call it a good day’s work.
Jerry: What happens when you can’t seem to write?
Me: If I get writer’s block, I get very distracted.
Jerry: How so?
Me: Well I start out by trying to think up some ideas and usually after an hour goes by I can be found sitting in front of my laptop, staring at the screen, watching the cursor blink.
(Jerry, along with the audience, laughs.)
Me: Seriously my girlfriend will come into my office and say how’s the writing going? I say, without taking my eyes from the screen… Shh! Babe, the cursor’s up to two thousand blinks, two thousand one, two thousand two.
(Jerry and the audience laugh.)
Jerry: Who knew watching a cursor could be so entertaining?
Jerry: What do you do when watching the cursor becomes boring?
I smile and wiggle around in the chair.
Me: Spin around in my chair; I actually broke my favorite desk lamp last week by doing that.
(Jerry and the audience laugh.)
Me: When I’ve gotten good a dizzy then I play pin the tail on the donkey.
More laughter echoes in my ears.
Jerry: Okay, do you have any techniques; in which you’ll use to make yourself focus on writing if you’re too tired to write?
Me: Coffee is my go to, but I have to monitor my intake very carefully.
Jerry: Why is that?
Me: Well… IF I HAVE TOO MUCH CAFFEINE I JUST HAVE THIS OVERWHELMING NEED TO RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES!
I get up from the chair and run around in a circle, then sit back down, with the audience ROFL.
Jerry: No wonder the audience likes you, you’re crazy funny.
Jerry: Alright I have one last question for before the break.
Jerry: Where did you get your inspiration for the book, Fill in the Blank_?
Me: I draw from life and my own personal experience.
Jerry: Excellent, well we’ll be right be after this, thank you Chelsea for joining us, it’s been a pleasure.
Jerry and I stand up and shake hands, as the jazz band once again begins to play, then I exit stage right, with more applause echoing in my ears.