Victimized

I’ve said this once before with a song that wrote in the past, but this song is and will forever be the most personal song that I have ever written. As some of you know I posted a song a couple of years ago that revolved around child molestation; within that song there were many points that I wanted to emphasize and also a message that I wanted to get out there for everyone to see. However I never felt that particular song carried that I message fully; but this afternoon I think that I might have done just that with this new song.

For a child innocence is the most precious thing, with innocence comes magic and belief in the happy ever after.

You are oblivious of the real world, stuck inside a fantasy, dreaming of growing up to be the next Oprah Winfrey.

You feel invincible, you feel as if childhood has a protection charm and that no one could ever do you harm, completely unaware of the monster lurking in the shadows of your own home.

This house was a safe heaven, I use to imagine that it was my castle with its own defenses; guards at every entry and a moat for a little extra security. These castle walls always seemed so impenetrable, but that’s what comes with the innocence.

I only wish I knew then what I know now, maybe that would’ve saved me somehow.

For a child innocence is the most precious thing, but what happens when it’s stolen in the dead of night, what do you do to stop the pain inside?

How can I say that I’ve been victimized? When you’re like blood to me, how could I even begin to explain?

Night after night you’d have your way with me and every time that you’d come near me I would lose my nerve, afraid for my family and what the future would bring. You silenced with threats that brought me to my knees, I can still remember being so afraid of nightfall and going to sleep, wishing that I could have just had the nerve to scream.

(Chorus fourteen years later I’ve learned the importance of using your mouth, no longer am I afraid to speak up and say, that I was victimized by you.

Now that I’m grown I understand that it was you, you were the one who was the monster, and I was your prey. How dare you blame your crimes on me, how dare you ever threaten me or my family, you were the adult who has never taken responsibility for your actions.

I take comfort in knowing that you’ll never again be free; because its people like you who should be locked away for rest of their days.

Ten years old and I could never say what I should have said, you were a monster that kept me quiet, so afraid of you but now I understand that I was victimized by you.)

When you’re young you feel invincible, so sure that nothing could happen to you. Well I’m living proof that just isn’t true.

This world’s a scary place and every child should know that you can’t always be safe and protected, but with the proper training you can spot the evil lurking in the shadows, and run away before it too late.

(Chorus fourteen years later I’ve learned the importance of using your mouth, no longer am I afraid to speak up and say, that I was victimized by you.

Now that I’m grown I understand that it was you, you were the one who was the monster, and I was your prey. How dare you blame your crimes on me, how dare you ever threaten me or my family, you were the adult who has never taken responsibility for your actions.

I take comfort in knowing that you’ll never again be free; because its people like you who should be locked away for rest of their days.

Ten years old and I could never say what I should have said, you were a monster that kept me quiet, so afraid of you but now I understand that I was victimized by you.)

If you’ve been victimized I hope that you can take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Even if the days seem the darkest that they’ve ever been just please understand that they will get better.

You may not think that you can ever be secure and happy, but I know now that it is possible to get that happy ever after.

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