Pitches

Pitches they can either be the best in the world or a major annoyance. Some people are naturals at pitches, they just somehow know exactly what to put down and what should be said to make their product intriguing. Others struggle with it entirely.

As for me, well I’m usually somewhere in the middle. I can create a pitch, however it takes a while for me to create one that I actually like and am happy with. I’ve been working on this pitch idea for Jenny and it took a good solid week to come up with anything.

Every idea seemed too been there done that, too dry, too where in the hell is this going, too run-on, and etc. On saturday night however an idea came to mind, so I wrote down the idea and this is what I got as a result.

 

Jenny Mac is an ordinary thirteen-year-old, she’s captain of her school softball team, does well in school, and has the best life that a girl could ask for. There was simply no indication that could’ve made Jenny think of her life as anything but average; until the sudden loss of her parents in a tragic car accident.

She would’ve never guessed that her parents had a secret past. She’s never known about Joseph Johnson, his rule, or of the WIA.

She could never imagine possessing a psychic ability which had been passed on to her from her mother. She couldn’t have predicted that she would need to depend upon these abilities in order to save her godmother from certain death, and it all begins with a letter left at her parents’ accident scene.

 

I’m happy with it because I didn’t give too much information and I think that I left you wanting to know more, and with pitches that’s exactly what is needed. You give just enough then leave them wanting more; which is the same as any other part of life if you think about it.

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5 thoughts on “Pitches

  1. You’re right–this is intriguing. It gives enough and withholds enough to get a reader’s attention. But–and I know I harp on this all the time–it’s riddled with grammatical errors, which would be an instant “no” from any agent or editor.

    A grammatically correct/tightened version would look like this:

    Jenny Mac is an ordinary thirteen-year-old: she’s captain of her school softball team, does well in school, and has the best life a girl could ask for. Nothing would make Jenny think of her life as anything but average–until the sudden loss of her parents in a tragic car accident.

    She would never have guessed that her parents had a secret past. She’s never known about Joseph Johnson, his rule, or the WIA.

    She could never have imagined possessing a psychic ability passed on to her from her mother. She couldn’t have predicted that she would need to depend upon this ability in order to save her godmother from certain death.

    And it all begins with a letter left at the scene of her parents’ accident.

    Like

  2. Definitely interesting, if I saw that on a shelf or GoodReads I’d definitely want to find out more about it and would probably buy it.

    Like

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