Remember Jenny Mac Tuesdays? Well I thought that I would try something out with you guys. I’m hoping for a little insight.
Some of you know that throughout the past few months I have been in the middle of a re-write for Jenny Mac, so I thought that I might toss you a section from the re-write and get your opinion.
Well here it goes.
Jenny’s softball game was just beginning when sirens wailed on Main Street. Everyone in attendance for the ballgame watched as the emergency response vehicles quickly went by.
Jenny stood on the mound, trying to bring back her concentration for the game ahead; she ignored the sirens going by and centered herself before her first pitch. She wound up and threw a strike, and the crowd cheered as the catcher threw the ball back to Jenny. Jenny gave her second offering and threw another strike. She was going to have a great game; she could feel it as her adrenaline kicked in.
As the game continued, Jenny was playing a fantastic game; she had back-to-back strikeouts and even managed to catch a couple of wild hits. However, around the second half of her game, her mind began to wander. She looked into the stands. Her parents were nowhere in sight. It was not like them ever be late, or miss a game.
As Jenny sat in the dugout waiting for her turn at bat, an ambulance went by. Only this time it was coming back toward the hospital. Jenny began to get nervous; she looked in the stands once again hoping to find her parents sitting there, she tried to keep herself calm and not think the worst, but after the interruption at the beginning of the game and now seeing that same ambulance go by, it was hard for her not to think the worst.
As Jenny got on deck and began to take her practice swings, a couple of people in the stands pointed at her. There were now whispers throughout the dugout. She didn’t notice this, because she was trying to concentrate on her at-bat.
A teammate’s mother had received a phone call from her husband. He was a paramedic who had responded to the accident. He called his wife to tell her the tragic news. Mr. and Mrs. Mac were dead at the scene; from what the police could gather, it was a hit and run in the middle of an intersection.
There was even more pointing at Jenny from people in the stands as she hit the ball and ran to first base.
As she stood on first base she noticed the pointing for the first time, but dismissed it, thinking that it had something to do with her hit.
The next batter struck out, and the teams switched.
As Jenny jogged back to the dugout to get her mitt her teammate Kelsey took one look at her and ran away crying. That made Jenny suspicious, and she once again looked in the stands for her parents. As Jenny looked through the stands everyone she made eye contact with either began to cry, or wore a look of sorrow on their face. Something had happened; Jenny knew it, and as she took her eyes off of the stands something caught her eye.
A bald man in a suit and a police officer were walking toward the softball field. Jenny was worried as they approached her.
Jason, the bald man spoke first.
“Are you Jenny Mac?”
Jenny’s heart began to pound. “That’s me. Can you tell me what’s going on?”
“Would you please come with us?”
Jenny walked to the police car with the men; once inside, she was told the terrible news.
“Jenny, I’m Officer Williams and this is Jason Simpson; I’m afraid we have some bad news.”
“What is it?” Jenny asked nervously, feeling as though she was about to be sick.
“Jenny I’m so sorry to inform you that your parents have just passed away in a car accident,” said Jason.
Jenny burst into tears. “No, no, no, they can’t be.”
“I’m sorry, Jenny,” said Jason, as he handed her a few tissues.
Officer Williams drove Jenny to her grandparents’ house where she would stay temporarily, until everything was sorted out with her parents will.