Graveyard shift


Last night I was doing a little late night studying when an idea popped into my head. For some reason lately I’ve noticed that I’ve been functioning better at night, so I decided that tonight I would give the graveyard writing shift a whirl. Personally I think that writing at night just may serve as a more efficient work environment.

If you really stop to think about writing during the day, you’ll come to realize that there are way too many distractions during the day. Where as at night things have quieted down quite a bit, you’ve already had your dinner and eventually everyone will be going to sleep; which leaves the writer in a complete silent bliss. Not to mention the stresses from the day just seem to fade away, until you’re left with your thoughts, your laptop, and you’re own universe where your characters come to life; kind of like your own version of Toy Story (minus the toys.)

This graveyard shift should prove to be most interesting.

Dreamer


I debated on whether or not I should post this, but thought today would be a good day for Dreamer, so here you are.

While on the bus a feeling came over Rebecca that she hated to get; she felt that she was forgetting something, but what was it? She went down a list of things that she might be forgetting; a homework assignment, to study for a final exam, read through a textbook. A textbook that was what she was forgetting. Where’d I leave it? She thought; my locker, backpack, Mandy’s room?

“Shit.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I have to return my Astronomy textbook into Mr Beaks tomorrow.”

“So what’s the big deal about that?”

“I left it at my parents’ house.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes remember, I would always borrow yours because I didn’t want to have to go back there until it was absolutely necessary.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot.”

“We have to make a side trip to Mount Shadow.”

“Alright, but I want you to promise me something right now.”

“Okay what?”

“No matter what happens you will not get into a terrible fight with them, like you did the last time we were over there.”

“Alright,” Rebecca raised her right hand. “I promise.”

Why couldn’t I have just kept the dang book in my locker? Why’d I always leave it at their house?

From the moment Mr Beaks handed the Astronomy books to the class he said, “Well for some of you the only time that I will see you with this book will be today, and at the end of the semester; you will be fined otherwise.”

If Rebecca could afford to take the book fine she would’ve done so, but given her current circumstance she knew that she needed to suck it up and deal with the parental encounter.

They were dropped off at Hub Station and then took the next bus that would take them to Mount Shadow. They walked down the road towards Howlet Street quickly, completely in sync and focused on the task at hand.

Rebecca cracked open the door, checked for shoes next to the door, looked at the couch, and walked inside walking straight toward her bedroom. They weren’t surprised by her parents nor were they confronted. When Rebecca opened her bedroom door she was astonished to see that her room was left untouched, since they had cleaned up the last time they were there almost four weeks ago. She located her textbook quickly and put it into her backpack. They were about to walkout of her bedroom when a thought came to her revolving around her essay. She thinks about memorizing it, but the idea was far too important not to write down.

“Okay, you’re going to think that I am completely insane but I have an idea for my essays that I need to get down.”

“What no, Becks just memorize it and then type it up later.”

“I can’t it’s too important, look I don’t think that they’re here, there’s no shoes next to the door and the house is completely silent, it’ll only take a minute.”

“Okay, but you’d better make this fast.”

“I will.” Rebecca sat down at her desk and pulled out her laptop. She clicked on the essay word doc and typed as quickly as she possibly could, and then saved the document. “Finished,” she said, as she closed the laptop.”

Rebecca bent down to grab her backpack when spotted something from out of the corner of her eye. “Shit!” Her face froze into a horrified state.

“What?” Mandy exclaimed.

Jacob stood in her doorway with a menacing expression sprawled across his face. His lips curled, his left eyebrow was hoisted up his forehead, and eyes were gleaming. He looked as though he had plans of torturous proportion as Rebecca read face, wondering what he wanted from her.

“So back again are you?”

“Yes, for the moment,” Rebecca said coldly, hissing out each word.

“So why are you here now?” he asked. “Because I thought that I left you a pretty precise message the last time you’d come here, with that lesbo,” he announced smugly.

Rebecca brushed off his comment, keeping in mind Mandy’s request to not start a fight with him.

“I see that your nose has healed up nicely.”

“Had to pop it back into place last time but, I reckon it still looks pretty good.”

Rebecca examined Jacob’s nose and thought; it would’ve probably looked a hell of a lot better if he’d left it alone; because the bridge of his nose looks larger than it should be.

“What ya come to get?” he asked coolly.

“A textbook.”

“Is that right,” he arched his head. “Well that don’t look like a textbook to me.”

Rebecca looked in the direction where Jacob’s eyes were pointed. Yes great observation Einstein, she thought as she gritted her teeth, trying to remember her promise once more.

“No it isn’t.”

“Well then what’s that fancy looking laptop doing here?”

“It’s mine, I just needed to use it for a moment and now if you’ll excuse us Mandy and I need to get going.”

Rebecca could see Jacob’s eyes still fixated on the laptop.

“Bet ya could cash that puppy in for a pretty penny.”

Jacob entered her room and walked over to the desk.

Rebecca felt his eyes staring at the laptop, as he breathed down her neck, she pulled it from the desk, but Jacob yanked it from her hands. “Hey!”

“I could cash you in for some pretty crystals.”

Rebecca’s anger flipped on like a switch. “No, you will not hawk my laptop for drug money, you stupid bastard.”

Rebecca grabbed the laptop and struggled to take it from Jacob’s grip. “Let go of it!” she yelled.

She looked at Jacob’s face and could tell that his aggravation levels were quickly rising, he began to yank at the laptop and scream. His attitude resembled that of a five year-old child throwing a tantrum, Rebecca hated him.

His screams vibrated her eardrums, she noticed a third pair of hands join in the struggle to take control of the laptop, she looked to her side to find Mandy pulling with all of her might. His grip was weakening, she could feel it. She and Mandy gave the laptop a good tug.

The moment happened so quickly that it was over in a matter of seconds, but for Rebecca the scene dragged out, in a slow motion turn of events. She saw Jacob fall backwards and she felt herself slip backwards, with the laptop leaving both her own hands and Mandy’s, she spun around in time to hear it crash into the wall and then to see it collide with the floor.

“No!”

Rebecca dropped to her knees, it was gone it had to be, what was she going to do now?

“Well there goes that plan,” she heard Jacob say.

She lept her feet and paced over to his position on the floor.

“There goes that plan!” she began to shout. “You have absolutely no idea what you’ve just done you stupid fucking meth head.” Rebecca began to breathe heavily, as if she were about to break off into sobs at any moment, as she continued with her speech. “I have worked so hard to get to this point and have waited as patiently as I possibly could, while having to deal you druggie morons. I’ve kept a 4.0 GPA since fourth grade and have done absolutely everything I can to be able to put things on my college applications. Now in one night you’ve destroyed everything that I’ve worked for.”

“Please like you would’ve actually got in anywhere, I just did you a favor sweetheart so how about showing me some gratitude. Let’s face it, you’re going to wind up just like your mom so go ahead and take a swig of cough syrup,” he laughed maniacally.

Rebecca who was now breathing heavier than before, balled her hand into a fist and once again hit Jacob’s nose, she felt and heard the sounds of bones cracking. She felt Mandy pulling her backwards. “Get your stuff and let’s go before you cause any more trouble.”

Jacob was in a ball on the floor screaming with his hands over his face. Rebecca grabbed her backpack and as turned around she saw Mandy scooping up her laptop. As they walked through the living room Rebecca caught sight of her mother lying on the couch staring them down as they approached the front door. “Rebecky,” she heard her mother call out as she shut the door behind her.

Show you that you’re beautiful


I wrote this song last night after being inspired by Bruno Mars’s Just the way you are, and I’m not quite sure how I feel about this song, but I thought I’d go ahead and post it. It’ll be nice to see what you think of it.

Happy Friday and enjoy. :D

Your self-esteem is depleting and your self-consciousness is rising.

Girl I would give anything for you to know just how truly gorgeous you are, because whenever you look into the mirror all that you see are the flaws.

You can’t see passed the world’s idealism’s of beautiful, you assume that to be beautiful, you must be like those models in the magazines, but what you lack to see are the features that drive me crazy.

It’s all that I can do to not grab you and kiss those lips, baby everything about you is so mesmerizing that you’re hard to resist. So please allow me point out what you fail to see; because clearly it’s up to me to show you…

(Chorus show you that you’re beautiful.

The first place that your eyes point to, are what you see as those trouble areas, but for me all that I can see are those sexy curves.

I know that you hate the way you hair looks, you always think that it’s too wild and frizzy, but I happen to love your hair just the way it is, and baby don’t get started on those eyes.

You see your body as ugly and you think nobody could ever fall for you, but honey I did; and when I look at you all that I can see is natural beauty.

I never knew that someone could be so breathtaking and not even realize, girl that’s everything that you are.)

You’re so consumed with beautiful perfection that it’s literally clouded your mind and your vision.

I wish that you could see yourself through my eyes, maybe then you’d realize what you’ve had all along. Cause this way of thinking isn’t healthy and I sincerely hope that you’ll be able to stop before you do harm to your body.

Your self-esteem is depleting and your self-consciousness is rising.

(Lemme show you what you’ve been missing.)

Girl I want to show you…

(Chorus show you that you’re beautiful.

The first place that your eyes point to, are what you see as those trouble areas, but for me all that I can see are those sexy curves.

I know that you hate the way your hair looks, you always think that it’s too wild and frizzy, but I happen to love you hair just the way it is, and baby don’t get started on those eyes.

You see your body as ugly and you think nobody could ever fall for you, but honey I did; and when I look at you all that I can see is natural beauty.

I never knew that someone could be so breathtaking and not even realize, girl that’s everything that you are.)

Baby, please throw those ideals out the window; because I honestly would like to see you happy with every part of you.

Not only are you beautiful but your intelligence is outstanding, and in my eyes there is no better woman standing.

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Transform into the Beast


Chelsea Brown:

Some good lyrics from a blog that I came across the other day.

Originally posted on jfreshly:

wordofcommand

Ohhh you and I

I Could take us there

It’s a matter of time

Life just isn’t fair

A locket of her hair

Panties left behind

The scent of her is still in the air

Transform into the beast

Transform into the beast

Transform

Can you feel it now

I am feeling wild

Could you feel me

Could you see me coming

Sitting by the fire side

Used to be you and I

Could you feel me

Could you see my coming

The reflection of your eyes

I could see the fireflies

Transform into the beast

Transform into the beast

Transform

Can you feel it now

I am feeling wild

Take these chances

To get by

Young romances

Of this life

Slide to the left

Look back to the right

She was the one

To be my wife

Transform into the beast

Transform into the beast

Transform

Can you feel…

View original 90 more words

He For She


I heard about this campaign yesterday while on Facebook and was so moved by Emma Watson’s speech that I wanted to share it with you; however before I post the YouTube video I would like you share with you my thoughts. Many of you know that I am a supporter of equal rights for LGTB equality, but what I have not mentioned is my stand for feminism.

Throughout my life I was looked upon as weak to most not only because I was a girl, but also because I was also a petite. I was probably three times smaller than my classmates, as a result I would rebut and try to do the same things that the boys were doing, at one point I even wanted to tryout for a peewee football team. That fortunately did not come to pass because I think it scared the living daylight out of my mother, and I would’ve probably been cut from the team because I was so tiny.

When I was thirteen encountered a lot you cants because I was was a girl. An ex-boyfriend would also tell me things like “girls aren’t strong enough to do things that guys can do.” That would always anger me because it seemed like girls and women were instantly shot down because we’re looked at as the weaker sex. I learned more and more as the years went on that my assumptions were true.

In my eyes that was something that shouldn’t even be assumed. Woman are strong, intelligent, and capable; which should be looked at with the utmost respect. So today I want to join Emma Watson’s He For She campaign to give women the same opportunities as men, and equal wages. I hope that this campaign serves as a step in the right direction for human equality.

Scene revisions


Yesterday I worked on the fight scene between Rebecca and Jacob, and I really liked how the scene turned out at first. But then as I thought of where things needed to go from there on out I decided that the scene wasn’t quite what I had in mind. So it looks as though it’s time for a revise; which I think will better suit the direction that I would like the story to go in.

So here’s hoping that the revising will turn out in the way that I’m hoping it will for the rest of the story.

Victimized


I’ve said this once before with a song that wrote in the past, but this song is and will forever be the most personal song that I have ever written. As some of you know I posted a song a couple of years ago that revolved around child molestation; within that song there were many points that I wanted to emphasize and also a message that I wanted to get out there for everyone to see. However I never felt that particular song carried that I message fully; but this afternoon I think that I might have done just that with this new song.

For a child innocence is the most precious thing, with innocence comes magic and belief in the happy ever after.

You are oblivious of the real world, stuck inside a fantasy, dreaming of growing up to be the next Oprah Winfrey.

You feel invincible, you feel as if childhood has a protection charm and that no one could ever do you harm, completely unaware of the monster lurking in the shadows of your own home.

This house was a safe heaven, I use to imagine that it was my castle with its own defenses; guards at every entry and a moat for a little extra security. These castle walls always seemed so impenetrable, but that’s what comes with the innocence.

I only wish I knew then what I know now, maybe that would’ve saved me somehow.

For a child innocence is the most precious thing, but what happens when it’s stolen in the dead of night, what do you do to stop the pain inside?

How can I say that I’ve been victimized? When you’re like blood to me, how could I even begin to explain?

Night after night you’d have your way with me and every time that you’d come near me I would lose my nerve, afraid for my family and what the future would bring. You silenced with threats that brought me to my knees, I can still remember being so afraid of nightfall and going to sleep, wishing that I could have just had the nerve to scream.

(Chorus fourteen years later I’ve learned the importance of using your mouth, no longer am I afraid to speak up and say, that I was victimized by you.

Now that I’m grown I understand that it was you, you were the one who was the monster, and I was your prey. How dare you blame your crimes on me, how dare you ever threaten me or my family, you were the adult who has never taken responsibility for your actions.

I take comfort in knowing that you’ll never again be free; because its people like you who should be locked away for rest of their days.

Ten years old and I could never say what I should have said, you were a monster that kept me quiet, so afraid of you but now I understand that I was victimized by you.)

When you’re young you feel invincible, so sure that nothing could happen to you. Well I’m living proof that just isn’t true.

This world’s a scary place and every child should know that you can’t always be safe and protected, but with the proper training you can spot the evil lurking in the shadows, and run away before it too late.

(Chorus fourteen years later I’ve learned the importance of using your mouth, no longer am I afraid to speak up and say, that I was victimized by you.

Now that I’m grown I understand that it was you, you were the one who was the monster, and I was your prey. How dare you blame your crimes on me, how dare you ever threaten me or my family, you were the adult who has never taken responsibility for your actions.

I take comfort in knowing that you’ll never again be free; because its people like you who should be locked away for rest of their days.

Ten years old and I could never say what I should have said, you were a monster that kept me quiet, so afraid of you but now I understand that I was victimized by you.)

If you’ve been victimized I hope that you can take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Even if the days seem the darkest that they’ve ever been just please understand that they will get better.

You may not think that you can ever be secure and happy, but I know now that it is possible to get that happy ever after.